at our new “home” on the Kelly Road.  It has been a bit since I posted and the whirlwind of moving has taken its toll.  I have thought about sitting down a couple of times to post and those moments seemed to slip by.  I am amazed at how oblivious my boys at times seem to be at all the changes and then other times they are so in touch with things it almost scares me and even delights my heart.

Last time I wrote about Jakob’s poem – a true treasure.  Well, this boy seems to be very in touch with my heart right now.  Last week on Tuesday he was extracted from school by Roger and taken to grandpa’s shop (many good things have come from this place) to fulfill a desire he had.  To build me a miniature “lake house” like the one he drew next to his poem.   It is beautiful and a true gift of the heart.  I am working on finding the right spot for it.

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I found myself at a friend’s table last week.   I felt drawn there.  In those final hours of raw emotion before the mover’s came Thursday morning I needed a little reprieve from staring at all the work to still be done.   As we talked I described the feeling of reading a book that you become lost in.  The characters are so real, you live in their stories and at times even dream about them and then before you know it the thick part of the book is on the left side of your body and the pages on the right are slowly fading and although you want to make it last you can’t.  Eventually, the good book does end and even though you know there are more good reads out there, you still feel a bit depressed and want another chapter and even better the next book in the series.

Our time at North shore feels like that.  I picked up the book and did not realize how much I would enjoy it, become lost in it, delighted in the pages of our days there and as it wound down it just felt like I want to somehow stop time and make it last.  I fight with feelings of regret.  This is not a new place for me but one that comes at me often and I have learned with the Spirit’s help to be aware of what I decide about myself and my God in the middle of these feelings.  I especially felt this way the Sunday night before we moved.  It felt paralyzing and I realized that I desired to mark the end with some relishing of what I could.  So, Monday and Tuesday afternoons I enjoyed some time in my bathing suit on our deck.  It felt great to get my first kiss from the sun for the season on our deck.  I had an impromptu gathering of a few girlfriends for martinis on Tuesday afternoon and the kid’s enjoyed the yard for one last time with their friends.  I took some deep breaths of the lake-filled air, I snapped pictures of the boys outside and inside, I shot bottle rockets off outside with Jakob on our last night at the house at 10 pm.   I wanted to mark the moments that we had!!

It occurred to me that perhaps this is how I might try to live each of my days.  Feeling the nudges of my heart and acting on them, forgetting the tasks to be done if I know I need to sit down at a friend’s table for a half hour and just share my heart, embracing the moments in front of me for what they are, lost if not enjoyed.

The Kelly Road book is sitting next to my heart.  I’ve read the book jacket and the forward and I guess it is time to open my heart up to what lies inside the pages.  I am sure the storyline won’t disappoint me – the same Author has written its chapters.

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